My husband’s side of the family – 4 siblings & spouses, all the cousins plus fiance’s and grandparents. Missing only our oldest son and one other cousin.
Grandparents, in-laws, aunts, uncles and cousins. These all used to be a normal part of family life. Today, people move all over the place, leaving family and friends behind. Sometimes this is truly necessary, but more often than not, it is a matter of preference. Maybe there is a better job calling, or a more appealing climate beckoning.
How important is it to have that extended family close at hand? Should that really be a priority in deciding where to live? Though not the only factor, family support systems may play a huge role in the ongoing success of family life. Living near extended family can offer financial, emotional and spiritual support.
The four siblings.
We lived away from my husband’s family for about 15 years, and even when we moved it wasn’t just so we could be near them, but that was a huge benefit. A strong family dynamic means that you always know that you are loved, accepted and wanted. My husband has one brother and two sisters, and after our baby is born there will be 35 grandchildren between the four siblings.
There are challenges at times. Sometimes there are situations where we don’t all see eye to eye and sometimes we have to be careful to keep the lines of family government clear. But the benefits of living near all this extended family are enormous.
Not everyone is blessed with such a large or united extended family. There are times when you may feel blessed if you can get through even one visit with family without arguing or having cross words. It is in those times that the body of Christ must be even more dear.
Our years of living up north were made possible because we had a beautiful and tight knit community of believers that we were surrounded by. They were there for us over and over, and we were there for them. This doesn’t happen overnight, nor does it happen unintentionally.
Community, unlike family, is a choice. You are not born into a community. You choose to be there. Unlike community, you cannot fully disengage from family. Even if you “disown” your family, there will always be the connection of heritage.
In an ideal world, the community or body of believers you are a part of would include or at least be connected to your family. Most of us don’t live in that ideal world. Yet, we do not need to choose between the two. It is not family vs. the community. In fact, we must continue to strive to build both, and to unite the two as much as possible.
If you do not have the support of extended family like you would like, do not despair. Remember, the body of Christ is the ultimate family. Jesus own words confirm this:
While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. 48 But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” Matt. 12:46-50
If you do have extended family that you can be in fellowship with, feel the blessing of it and don’t take it for granted. At the same time, don’t neglect the greater body. They need you as well. The world needs family and community to be reestablished. The world needs to see Christians loving one another in a real, tangible way.
So, enjoy your extended family. Support them. Live near them if you can. Find a place of unity if possible. But build the Christian community as well. Love them. Work out your differences. Create a support system that includes those who have no one else. Show the world around you what true love really looks like.
Does your Christian community include your extended family? How do they relate?
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